Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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