yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
