we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
