i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
