Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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