i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
