the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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