Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
