remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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