Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
