Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish you could order shots online.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
