...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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