I'm lost and stupid without you.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
