At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
