My vagina just recognized that song.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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