I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
