Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
