i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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