That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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