You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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