I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
