under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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