Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
