She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
