OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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