So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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