You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
