Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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