he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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