Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm sobbing to NWA
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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