ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
