There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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