we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
