idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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