I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My vagina is officially offended.
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