so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
