No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
