The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
