Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
