I just saw a hot homeless man
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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