She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
