that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
