Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
