So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
