flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
