Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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