Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
