After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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