yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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