i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize