this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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