I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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