clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
