1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
