Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The air was thick with penises
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
