got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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