what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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