Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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