absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
ugly people sure do ruin things
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
