I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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