Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize