Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
