i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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