Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
