You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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