dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
and she was petting her beer can
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
