how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
