Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
